


Nerves

by diamondgore



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon Compliant, Musing, Other, Trans Character, Very little dialogue, thought heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 06:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16675966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamondgore/pseuds/diamondgore
Summary: Hirako Take never really liked weddings.





	Nerves

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reupload. 
> 
> I write Tsukiyama as transfeminine, if that bothers you, please just don't read it.

Everyone had been caught up in the festivities of the wedding, except for Tsukiyama and Take. While everyone was pouring drinks for each other, and dancing, Tsukiyama sat on one of the makeshift benches, their chin propped up on their hand.The wedding wasn’t exactly something that the young heir found particularly interesting--they knew how everything would play out, they had planned everything for it.

There was a sense of boredom, overwhelming the sense of betrayal that Tsukiyama felt towards the marriage of Kaneki Ken and Kirishima Touka. It wasn’t jealousy, that was a different feeling that used to overwhelm Tsukiyama’s younger years, now it was simply this dull pain that wouldn’t go away with a distraction. This was in-simple terms-unfair. Kaneki had still got the girl, someone to see the end of his life with. He didn’t have much longer and Tsukiyama could smell the rot in his aroma, rendering him unappetizing.

Take, whether it had been because he had sensed Tsukiyama’s general distaste in their own reception or their aura of boredom taking up too much of the space around them, had approached Tsukiyama. He was glad that someone else didn’t the party interesting, but then again, Hirako was a man who found less than a handful of things interesting. When he had still been part of the CCG he had little interpersonal relationships out of Arima and Koori, even then he had limited his contact with them. There was no reason for their relationship to be more than a partnership. Here, with Goat , things seemed to be a little different, especially with Tsukiyama. Tsukiyama had taken a role, not only as Kaneki’s right hand man, but also as Naki’s tutor, Hinami and Ayato’s teacher, and the makeshift babysitter to orphaned ghoul children. Tsukiyama had an overwhelming need to be wanted and needed, that it seemed they had exhausted themself to be able to fill the that void in their lives.

From what he had heard from the people around him, Hirako assumed that this was due to Kanae’s death. Tsukiyama had been their mentor and friend for years. There was a symbiotic relationship between Tsukiyama and the youngest Rosewald, it was a ‘feel-good’ relationship. Tsukiyama had filled their time with people like Kanae and the rest of the manor staff-who would break their back for them- and would try to help and not fall into a hopeless pit of depression. It was simple, Tsukiyama had helped people that they loved, as they knew no other way to show them affection.

Hirako sat next to Tsukiyama, without saying a word, and prayed that they would start the conversation, even if it was small talk. At this point in time, Hirako wanted to speak to someone who seemed to express the same amount of interest in a wedding as them. He and Tsukiyama had talked multiple times before, casually and professionally. They seemed to have many things in common, and Hirako wanted to get closer to someone like Tsukiyama. It would be nice to have a friend to see the end of the world with. While he worked at the CCG, this didn’t seem to be a priority, but that was because everything was so professional. Friendship was optional. He had friends, of course, it was just that it happened due to multiple years of exposure. If he had died in battle, there would be someone that would mourn him.

If his grandmother was still alive she would have mourned him. There was this fear of being forgotten after death that had consumed them wholly when he stayed up during the night. Tsukiyama didn’t seem to forget the people who they’ve lost. Maybe it was selfish on Take’s part, but that was one of the reasons he wanted to get close to Tsukiyama, they were the type of person who crashed and burned when it came to loving someone else. There was also the way that Tsukiyama held themself, with grace and honor, when they fought that was entirely attractive to someone like Take. He had found themself gazing at Tsukiyama when they spared with Hinami or Kaneki, they were undeniably in love with the confident, cocky and sensitive Tsukiyama that he had created in his head. He could only hope once they’ve gotten close to Tsukiyama this feeling wouldn’t die away.

Tsukiyama didn’t know this, how could they?

“Take, I’m surprised that you hadn’t taken your leave from this party easier. I wouldn’t have assumed you enjoy these things.” Tsukiyama spoke, showing interest with a small curl of the lips. “Is there something you need from me?”

Hirako Coughed lightly, as if trying to dislodge the lump in his throat that had formed when Tsukiyama started speaking. He knew that that they were beautiful--but he hadn’t seen them in a world lit by candles and the pale moonlight. Usually calm and collected, this made them nervous, but a calm and cool exterior would not allow them to change their facade. “Not really. I just thought you could use some company. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves and you were sitting here by yourself. I do hope my assumption wasn’t wrong.” Hirako responded, he placed both his hands in his lap. He hoped that he didn’t appear too disinterested in the conversation.

“Mmm.” Tsukiyama tapped their lips with their finger, shifting their body so that their legs were crossed tightly. “I was getting lonely. I actually was just going to leave.”

“Let me escort you then. I was thinking of leaving but got caught up in trying to speak with you.”

Tsukiyama covers their mouth as they feel their curt smile shift more into a silly grin. They nod to agree with Take’s proposition. There’s no way to wipe off the stupid smile on their face, so they decide to just let it be. “I would love some company in my quarters if you’re willing to join me.”

That ting of betrayal that Tsukiyama had felt earlier in the evening was beginning to fade in this feeling of embarrassment, this adolescent feeling of developing a crush. Tsukiyama had sworn, after Kaneki that they would no longer develop a romantic attraction to anyone else, and would suppress their love in a mix of one-night stands and gourmet foods. The former gourmet got up and then turned their face to the side, as they helped Hirako up.

Hirako Didn't have the same surge of emotion, Tsukiyama had felt. Instead he just acted like nothing happened, even though on the inside he could swear he felt the tightness the budding romance in his chest. He took Tsukiyama’s hand and pulled himself up. He let go, once he was up, but Tsukiyama had other thoughts.

Under their breath, almost a faint suggestion, Tsukiyama said, “You can hold my hand while we walk. If you’d like that.” They didn’t know if they were rushing into a dead end, as Take’s face didn’t give away anything, not even the way they held themself had changed.

Take, despite this being one of the first of his encounters of the romantic kind, takes Tsukiyama’s hand with something resembling a smile on their lips. Pehrpad he wasn’t too late to experience a true relationship, even if it was cultivated due to fear and unrealistic expectations.


End file.
